The Holy Act of Paying Attention: Lessons From Mr. Rogers

In the Fred Rogers movie biopic, there is a story about Mr. Rogers meeting reporter Tom Junod (who he called Lloyd) via phone, just one of hundreds of interviews Rogers gave over decades. Early in the conversation, there is this exchange:

Rogers: “Do you know what the most important thing in the world is to me right now?”

Tom Junod (Lloyd): “What?”

Rogers: “Talking to Lloyd on the telephone.”

That story hit my heart like a freight train. I spend much of my day interacting with people - at home, at work, at stores, walking down the street. But, so often I am only partially engaged, my thoughts drift to something else.

Over the years I have taken pride in my ability to multitask, holding multiple thoughts at once. But the words of Fred Rogers challenged me. He recognized the value of truly paying attention in a clamoring, always-on, always-moving world. This point of view was informed by his deep faith.

“I believe that appreciation is a holy thing—that when we look for what’s best in a person we happen to be with at the moment, we’re doing what God does all the time.” - Fred Rogers

French philosopher Simone Weil observed, “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” Each human is a living soul, created in the image of God, loved by God, and worthy of attention.

Jesus Paid Attention

Jesus modeled this behavior beautifully. The record of his life captures many instances where he singled out one individual, shut out the rest of the world and focused on an intentional interaction.

On one occasion, Jesus was surrounded by a huge and noisy throng of people. Voices came from every side, people asking things, telling him he was great, or just chatting about the spectacle of a huge celebrity coming to their town. In the middle of that chaos, a woman with a terrible disease, a social outcast deemed unclean by the community, dared to touch his robe.

Everything stopped. “Who touched my robe?” Jesus asked. His disciples said to him, “Look at this crowd pressing around you. How can you ask, ‘Who touched me?’” Then the frightened woman…came and fell to her knees in front of him and told him what she had done. And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.[1]”

This pattern played out over and over. Jesus made a consistent effort to stop what he was doing and truly see people that others overlooked. A corrupt tax collector in a tree, a little boy trying to share his lunch, a woman with a checkered past drawing water at a well, a blind beggar with no friends[2].

All of these people were unnoticed or outright dismissed by the larger crowd. For each, there was a perfectly logical reason Jesus could have dismissed them. Yet, in each case, he went deep. He looked them in the eyes, entered their world. He pursued them.

The Call to Notice

Jesus modeled the importance of taking time to really pay attention to people, and challenges us to do the same. The writer of the Book of Hebrews said sometimes when we pay attention to strangers we could be entertaining angels without knowing it[3].

I thought about this a few nights ago, after going through a convenience store line while looking at my phone. Walking outside, I realized I had no memory of the cashier - no face, no voice, no expression. I might as well have been scanning the groceries myself. I missed an opportunity to share a smile or a kind word. Maybe it would not have mattered, but maybe that person could have used a little random act of encouragement.

Jesus challenges us to meet the needs of others, no matter how flawed or imperfect, as if we were meeting the needs of God in human form, especially the vulnerable[4]. That means every person I meet, from a coworker to a cashier to an enemy to a stranger, is worthy of focused attention - not because of anything they have done, but because they are a human created by and loved by God.

Attention Changes Things

When Jesus paid attention to people, good things happened. The woman with the disease was healed. The corrupt tax collector repented and refunded money to those he oppressed, with interest, four times over. The little boy’s lunch was multiplied to feed thousands. The blind beggar was healed.

We cannot single out every human we encounter, and neither did Jesus. He picked people out of the crowd, but did not necessarily engage with every person in the crowd. We do not know why he engaged with some people and not others, but we do know this: when he interacted with someone, he focused on them completely.

If we carry the spirit of God within us, we too can have a positive impact when we truly see people. Jesus said “Anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works...[5]”

We can probably all come up with examples of times when paying attention changed things for the better - a relationship started, an opportunity found, someone finding help. Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.[6]”

Early in my career, I was surprised when someone I barely knew sought out a few moments of my time to encourage me and offer me some life-changing advice. His effort and attention in those moments started a series of events that led to me pursuing a graduate degree, a new career, and a new trajectory for my life.

Science confirms what Jesus demonstrated. When we experience genuine, focused attention from another person, our brains release oxytocin, a hormone that reduces anxiety and increases feelings of safety[7]. Neuroscientist Stephen Porges found our entire nervous system responds positively to genuine attention, creating a sense of calm and safety[8].

Sometimes the cost of having a positive impact on others is simply paying attention.

The Heart of God

In a world of perpetual distraction, where often we do not see or feel seen, the greatest gift we can give is simply our attention. That may mean putting down my phone, resisting the urge to multitask on a call, or seeking out someone who has been overlooked. It requires some effort, but it is worth it.

Because, when we truly see another human, we are participating in something holy. Jewish philosopher Martin Buber said, “When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.[9]”

When we take time for each other, we align ourselves with the heart of God, one intentional conversation at a time.

________________

FOOTNOTES

[1] “A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding…she came up behind him through the crowd and touched his robe…Immediately the bleeding stopped, and she could feel in her body that she had been healed of her terrible condition. Jesus realized at once…and asked, “Who touched my robe?” His disciples said to him, “Look at this crowd pressing around you. How can you ask, ‘Who touched me?’” Then the frightened woman…came and fell to her knees in front of him and told him what she had done. And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.”” ‭‭Mark‬ ‭5‬:‭25‬-‭31‬, ‭33‬-‭34‬ ‭NLT‬‬

[2] There was a man there named Zacchaeus. He was the chief tax collector in the region, and he had become very rich. He tried to get a look at Jesus, but he was too short to see over the crowd. 4 So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree beside the road, for Jesus was going to pass that way. When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.” Luke 19:1-5 NLT

The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans.[b] She said to Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?” Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.” John 4:9-10 NLT

One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?” “I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one...” Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!” Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking! John 5:5-9 NLT

“Then Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up. “There’s a young boy here with five barley loaves and two fish. But what good is that with this huge crowd?”” ‭‭John‬ ‭6‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

[3] “Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13‬:‭2‬-‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

[4] ““And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭25‬:‭40‬ ‭NLT‬‬

[5] ‭‭John‬ ‭14‬:‭12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

[6] The Miracle of Mindfulness (1975)

[7] Zak, P. J. (2012). The Moral Molecule: The Source of Love and Prosperity. Dutton.

Paul Zak’s work specifically examines how trust, attention, and social connection trigger oxytocin, and he writes for general audiences.

[8]

[9] Martin Buber, I and Thou (1923)