Solitary But Not Alone

Sometimes God Shows Up When We Get Away

I am very busy. I’m not sure if that is a badge of honor or of shame. My particular flavor of busy often involves large meetings and airports and busy streets and crowded events. And it all seems to build to a crescendo late in the year. Ironically, it is often in these moments, surrounded by a crush of humanity and things made by human hands, that I feel the most alone.

Loneliness is not just a lack of companionship, but a lack of connection. This can be a simple lack of connection to people, but loneliness often carries a sense of disconnection from the rest of the universe, from God.

Paradoxically, we are often closer to God when we are farther from people. Most major religious traditions teach the value of solitude in nature.

The pattern plays out again and again in the Torah: Moses went alone into the wilderness and met God at Sinai.[1] Elijah escaped to a solitary place and heard the “still small voice” of God.[2] David poetically testified of a God whose presence is known in far off places:

“If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.[3]”

Other faith traditions echo this theme. The Buddhist Arannavasi (literally meaning “forest dweller”) are monks who choose solitude in nature as a way to seek enlightenment. The Hasidic Jewish tradition of Hitbodedut teaches the value of going alone into nature to talk to God. The Lakota sometimes practice a hanbleceya, or “crying for a vision”, that involves going alone in the wilderness to fast and pray.

Jesus modeled this behavior during his ministry. The record of his life says he “often withdrew to lonely places and prayed”[4].

Seeing an opening in my schedule this week, I tried to follow the example of Jesus and slipped away into the woods for a few hours of hiking. Although there was no sign of any other human around, I was keenly aware that I was not alone.

I wrote the words below to capture that moment.

A Different Alone

I have been alone

For a span of two yesterdays

And twice as many tomorrows

But it has been a noisy alone

The relentless scurry

And constant cacophony

Machines and living things

The urgent exhaust of the moment

I am but one more sound

Or one more ear

Scarcely noticed

Unknown

But today I slip away

Walking alone

Together with a million years

Of creating and evolving

Manifested in a moment

In this place without man

Birds whose names

I do not know

Speak to me in song

The wind that rushes

From places I’ve never been

To places I will never go

Tells its story as it passes

The crunch of leaves

Whose crisp farewell I hasten

With each solitary step

Bid me think of spring

In the vastness of this place

My insignificance is secure

Yet in the company of this friend

I am somehow fully known

And fully loved

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FOOTNOTES

[1] Exodus 19-20

[2] I Kings 19:11-13

[3] Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭‭9-‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

[4] Luke 5:16 - “often withdrew to lonely places and prayed”

Matthew 14:23 - went up mountain “by himself to pray” after feeding 5,000

Luke 6:12 - “spent the night praying to God” before choosing disciples

Mark 1:35 - “Very early…while it was still dark” went to solitary place

Luke 4:1-2 - 40 days alone in wilderness before ministr