The Power of Disagreement: Finding Unity Without Forcing Sameness

We live in a time when it often feels dangerous to disagree, not just with our opponents, but with our own tribes.

I have seen my Democrat friends get ridiculed by friends from their party for questioning whether Joe Biden was physically fit to serve. I have seen my Republican friends get attacked by their own for questioning the economics of tariffs, or not believing the 2020 election was stolen. The Southern Baptist Convention expelled Saddleback Church, one of the most impactful and innovative churches in the world, because of a disagreement on a secondary doctrinal point.

In so many places in our government, churches, businesses, and organizations, it is no longer enough to work together towards a shared goal. We must also agree with every line of the root cause narrative, and every point in the action plan. Or, we risk drawing the ire of our own tribe.

This militant quest for unconditional agreement happens under the guise of strengthening our cause, of maintaining purity in purpose. And so often moral or religious language is used to hammer out dissent, as if differing opinions are evil.

But the teachings of Jesus, and the God of Abraham, do not call us to sameness. If we use these sources as a guide, we find not only is disagreement not necessarily bad, it can actually be a very good thing. The key is for the disagreeing parties to share some common purpose or value.

Demonizing Disagreement

It is easy to assume that when two people disagree, one must be right and one must be wrong. But, the teachings of Jesus suggest that is not necessarily the case.

Beware of Moralizing. Mary and Martha were sisters, and close friends of Jesus. But they had very different priorities. Martha was a worker, focused on preparing meals and getting things done. Mary was focused on relationship, and wanted to spend every possible moment listening to Jesus and honoring him.[1] The people who chronicled the life of Jesus made a point to say that Jesus loved them both, and they both played a big role in his ministry.[2] Mary and Martha had different areas of focus, but that did not make them moral opposites.

The early Christian church was originally comprised almost exclusively of Jewish people. But it soon saw an influx non-Jews formerly of pagan religions, and this diverse group brought with them diversity of opinion about holy days and holy diets. This led to big disagreements as the church tried to create uniform doctrines and practices. In his letter to the church in Rome, Paul removed the weight of morality from this debate, saying it was ok for people to honor the same God in ways that were different or even opposite.[3]

Building With Disagreement. Later, in the early days of the Christian church, people disagreed about whether to follow the teaching of Paul or Apollos. Paul rejected this right vs wrong dichotomy, instead insisting the approaches of the two men were different, but complementary. “Each one had a role given to them by the Lord: I planted, Apollos watered, but God made it grow.”[4]

In science, Copernicus’ theory of the earth revolving around the sun was built on the idea of elliptical orbits proposed by Ptolemy, even though it disproved Ptolemy’s notion that the Earth was at the center of the orbits. Newton’s laws both contradicted and were built upon Aristotle, and Einstein’s relativity both changed and added to Newton[5]. One could even make a case (controversially perhaps) that Darwin’s evolution built upon creationism by shining light on the mechanism God used to shape creation. Today’s heroes are often yesterday’s revolutionaries, and science often finds two people who disagree are just looking at the same truth from different angles.

The Power of Disagreement

Not only is disagreement not necessarily immoral, it can actually be a force for good.

Creation by Division. The creation account core to the Abrahamic religions says ,”God divided the light from the darkness...divided the waters which were under the expanse from the waters which were above the expanse…God said, “Let there be lights…to divide the day from the night…God saw that it was good.”[6] Creation started with division. And God did not call the day good and the night bad. Both were good.

“God created the great sea animals and all the tiny living things that swarm in the waters, each according to its kind, and all the winged birds, each according to its kind. God saw how good it was.”[7] God created a host of living things that were all different in how they looked, acted, ate, reproduced. But he did not rank them or set them to fight each other. He declared them all good.

Difference Drives Discovery. Differences can also open paths to discovery that are not possible if everyone thinks the same. The story of the Tower of Babel suggests that the alignment of the population around a single activity and a single language was preventing them from exploring the earth. God solved the problem by mixing their languages so they all spoke differently.[8] This difference in language caused people to separate into tribes and settle in different parts of the earth[9].

The Hebrew prophet Jeremiah spoke of a “…foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but don’t see and ears but don’t hear.”[10] Lack of seeing and hearing meant these people could not take in new information, they were frozen with whatever beliefs and assumptions already held inside. So many things we now see as essential began as outsider ideas: human rights, democracy, the earth revolving around the sun, personal computing, national parks, even Christianity. Insisting on compliant sameness cuts us off from our best future.

Diversity Enables Change. Diverse perspectives drive change in a way sameness never can. The group of people Jesus assembled to carry on his movement included a startling array of different perspectives. It included impetuous uneducated fisherman (Peter), people from prominent families (James and John), an agent of the Roman government (Matthew), a nationalist revolutionary (Simon), a woman with a troubled past (Mary Magdalene), a woman from an aristocratic family (Joanna), even a non-Jew (Luke) [11]. One can only imagine the debates and disagreements this group must have had as they travelled around Palestine together for several years. Yet, this group enabled the message of Jesus to connect with people from all walks of life and segments of society. This odd assembly would quite literally change the world.

Unity Without Sameness

Unity In Purpose. All these examples of good differences have something in common. The people involved, even though they disagreed, were aligned around an overarching goal that was bigger than their disagreements. The followers of Jesus all wanted to share his teachings with the world. The scientists we mentioned were all seeking the truth. Even the plants and animals created by God are united by a global desire to survive and reproduce.

This highlights the source of so much of the dysfunction in our society today. We often lack a shared motive, or we refuse to accept the motives of the other side can possibly be good. For instance, what if we all wanted humans to be healthy and live in peace with each other and with God? If everyone shared that end goal, would our disagreements about how to get there take on a different tone? Of course they would.

Manipulation By Motive. This is one of the great tells for those who would manipulate us into hating each other to build their own power. The master manipulators do not question the other side’s approach, they question the other side’s motives. If someone is wrong, we can still work with them, and possibly find middle ground. But if someone is evil, they must be given no quarter, and my loyalty to my tribe becomes absolute. Branding anyone who disagrees as evil is a masterful tool of manipulation.

Path to Peace. Jesus taught that “God blesses those who work for peace”[12], but how? First, we do not focus on conquering and controlling. Change comes from the heart, not from external control. “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart…”[13]‬‬ Second, we do not seek conformity of opinion or function. “We have many parts in one body, but the parts don’t all have the same function. In the same way, though there are many of us, we are one body...”[14]

One body. That is the starting point. Find the one overarching purpose we can all agree on, and have grace enough to believe the person you disagree with might actually share that same guiding motive.

As a follower of Jesus, I believe the most powerful and unifying shared purpose is alignment with the heart of God. But the principle still works for those who do not share this faith. Aligning around a single important core goal provides margin for disagreeing on the details.

We will never all agree on everything - nor should we. Disagreement can be good, creative and productive. Peace does not come from eliminating disagreement, but by aligning on big shared goals - and having grace for those who disagree on details.

As St. Augustine wisely said, “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.”

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[1] ‭‭Luke‬ ‭10‬:‭38‬-‭42‬ ‭CEB‬‬

[2] “Jesus loved Martha, her sister, and Lazarus.” ‭‭John‬ ‭11‬:‭5‬ ‭CEB‬‬

[3] “Welcome the person who is weak in faith—but not in order to argue about differences of opinion. One person believes in eating everything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Those who eat must not look down on the ones who don’t, and the ones who don’t eat must not judge the ones who do, because God has accepted them. Who are you to judge…One person considers some days to be more sacred than others, while another person considers all days to be the same. Each person must have their own convictions...” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭14‬:‭1‬-‭6‬ ‭CEB‬‬

[4] 1 Corinthians‬ ‭3‬:‭4‬-‭9‬ ‭CEB‬‬

[5] Claudius Ptolemy proposed a geocentric model of the universe, with Earth at the center. Then, Copernicus introduced the heliocentric model, placing the sun at the center. Both used circular orbits, but with a different center. Aristotle believed objects move according to their “natural place” and required continuous force to keep moving. Newton retained the concept of motion and force, but explained it based on inertia and external forces.

[6] Genesis 1:3-4, 7-11, 14, 16-18 WMB

[7] Genesis‬ ‭1‬:‭21‬ ‭CEB‬‬

[8] Genesis‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬, ‭4‬, ‭7‬-‭9‬ ‭CEB‬‬

[9] As with many stories from the Bible, some view the story of Babel as history, others as metaphor or parable. And in both cases, the story can be a source of truth.

[10] ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭5‬:‭21‬ ‭CEB‬‬

[11] The Unchristian Christ, 2014

[12] “God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

[13] Luke‬ ‭6‬:‭45‬ ‭NLT

[14] ‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭CEB‬‬